I want that bond that we used to share. I want that back. I don’t want to let it crumble because of distance and mis-communication. We are stronger than that. I know it for a fact. Then again, it takes the other half of that bond to keep it stable whether they are willing or not.
I don’t know how you do it. I’m already having a hard time staying strong for the family. Being an only child sucks sometimes. All the pressure is on you.
I wish you were here to take away the burden. I miss you so much.
I seriously can’t believe you’re gone. It wasn’t too long ago that I was having a conversation with you over the phone. All of sudden, BAM! You’re gone. Things just got A LOT MORE difficult around the family because of what happened.
You were the one that took care of me when my parents were away and even offered your house so that you would see me grow up. Even though you were living alone, I still considered you a strong person. Even ‘til now, you were the strongest person in the family. Having to live by yourself and living your life that you loved despite the financial issues being a hindrance. You are the epitome of an independent and strong-willed person.
It’s saddening to hear about the news of your passing. I was already lonely because I was stuck here in the U.S. not being able to see both sides of my family, but adding this into the mix just doesn’t help me at all. I feel even more distant and isolated from everyone because of what happened.
I’m sorry I can’t get to see you and your burial, but you already know that I love you so much. SO MUCH that typing this post is making me cry. I can’t tell whether it’s despair or that you’re off in a better place with your brother.
I will miss your childhood stories that you would tell me when I was a child and that you would give me lessons of all the sports you learned. The smile you would put on me when I would always cry like a baby when I was a kid. You’re “Goodmorning Breakfast” and so on. There’s so many things that I could say that would make me miss you more, but I’m going to stop before I get carried away with tears into this post.
Life is really unexpected. Two of my grandma’s sons passed away before she did and right now she’s 83. Seeing the mourning of my mom and grandma really gives me a new understanding of how to treat loved ones. I guess all I can say now is that because of you and your lessons of how to be strong, I’ll convey that lesson to myself and hopefully to the next generation.
Rest in peace.
I can’t believe I forgot to give you that final note that could have ended my thoughts of you permanently. Now that I noticed it, I can’t stop looking at it and how will I be able to give it you. Maybe it was like this for a reason - not realizing that I did not give my last note so that in the future I can try to make you smile with it and maybe be able to re-connect with you. Maybe it’s a sign that I have unfinished business. Maybe not. All that I know now is that I am going to be there for you. As of right now though, I don’t know how I am reacting to all of this. It happened all of a sudden and now here I am thinking about you again.
P.S. - Hope you’re happy Anon, you finally got your wish in me writing another post about my thoughts.
Jenny Suk - “Who You Are” Jessie J (cover) [HB Live Session]
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing, it’s okay not to be okay…
I don’t know. You tell me.
Keri Noble - Falling (Cover) by Gabriel and Kiana Valenciano
Kiana has a beautiful voice.
